Off the Ground

"A man is either trying to live up to his father's expectations, or to make up for his mistakes."- Barack Obama

???

I don't know where to go from here....

If I Were a Boy

I've found a new love in the new album by Beyonce, even though it's not officially released yet. If you haven't heard or seen the video "If I Were a Boy"....it's a MUST! (Mostly because this is EXACTLY how I feel right now).

I want to watch the new James Bond movie. But I can't really remember what happens in Casino Royal, which apparently I have to watch before I can see this one.

Wanna tag along?

(You're always going to look at me in that same, resentful stare that I'm sure you think I don't notice. The one you try to hide behind your smiles, and "I'm doing ok" attitude. Where we don't talk about anything important or real. And I'M always going to look you in the same, resentful stare that I'm sure you notice. The one I try to hide behind smiles, and "I'm doing ok" attitude. Where we continuously don't talk about anything real or important).

......

Twilight

Twilight- the soft, diffused light from the sky when the sun is below the horizon, either from daybreak to sunrise or, more commonly, from sunset to nightfall (dictionary.com).

Ever feel like you're forever in this state where you can't quite decide if you should stay hidden in the dark. Even though you know that being in this state of limbo tortures you a little every day. Where you know that the light is coming if you would just let it. But you never really let yourself see past the horizon. You don't want to see what's on the other side, even though you know that the sunlight is a better choice than staying in the dark. But letting go of the dark means leaving a piece of you behind. Do you ever feel like you're not ready to give up the bad things because you feel like you don't deserve a life full of cloudless skies, and happy people?

Maybe the right word for this masochist.

Worth Blogging

I've decided that I want my next boyfriend to be a vampire. And if you have read, or are reading the book, Twilight then you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. =) I love how they're destined to be together, and yet forced to be apart. And the whole time you're reading you can't help but scream "JUST HAVE SEX ALREADY!" or "JUST BITE HER!! SO YOU CAN FINALLY BE TOGETHER!!!" *sigh* My favorite part about finding a good book is how excited you get when you share it with others. And that feeling afterward when you know they've started reading it and now you have someone to talk about it with!

OH Edward...where are you??

p.s. I know what I want to get for my first tattoo. *smirk*

One Step Forward....A MILLION steps back

I don't know how to talk to you.
We talk and we talk and we talk, sometimes it seems like we keep talking about the same thing! But nothing is ever going to get resolved?
And I have no idea why.
And I'm trying to give up the idea that I'll ever understand you (or that you'll ever understand me).

anywhoots!

I studied my ASS of today! I hardly ever mention school because I hate it! And therefore find no need to justify it by posting it on my blog! Meh! The truth is, I don't really hate school. I'm finally taking all the classes I WANT and that are interesting to me. I'm more ashamed of the fact that I don't put in a solid effort. I let life's curve balls deter me from that joy. Well, that all changes now (or soon!)

I'm STARVING!! MMMmmmMMM....nuggets!

Brand New Me

I've enlisted the help of my two very good friends to help re-invent my wardrobe, and in hopes help re-invent me. Not that I don't like who I am, or that I'm this horrible person. But there's nothing wrong with taking a look back at my life so far, and thinking of ways to improve. For example, I'm going to help people as often as I can. Pay it forward. Karma. I've always believed in it, but never really followed through. What you put out there reflects on what you expect for yourself. Today we parked downtown, and someone stopped and warned us that the parking spot was a handicap spot, and that we'd get a ticket. We politely thanked them, and moved our car. JUST then, I did the same for an elderly man who parked in the exact same spot. He was genuinely thankful and I felt pretty good with my good deed.
Anyways, back to what I was saying...I can't wait for my new wardrobe! =)

Tomorrow is the election in the States. I don't know much about what's going on. But I know enough to know which way I'd vote for. The thing is I believe that we (as a species) push so hard for equality. Especially in North American Culture. We are all the same. Right? Woman are just as good as men, and visa versa. WE are not better than THEM. THEY are not inferior to US. We're the same. We need the same things to survive: food (even though preference differs), we all breathe the same air, we all need shelter (some are 4 bedrooms, some are a place made of snow that sleeps six in one room)...but we're the same. So why not be treated the same? And the thing about the soldiers overseas, to be honest I have no clue about the war, or what they're fighting for, or what they're trying to defend. So what I think easily has no merit, but has it really helped any with having your soldiers over there? And if it hasn't, whats the matter with a little change? Bring them home so they can actually be in the country that they're sworn to protect. I'm sure you'll find another reason to send them back out there. Yeah, 9/11 was horrific and I'm sure no one will ever forget that day. But please don't blame someone who's just trying to do his job and help his country the best way he knows how, just because of his name, or the color of his skin. As a visible minority I can't help but think that what if these people were Filipino? What would that mean for me? If this was WWII it would mean concentration camps for the Japanese who live in this country..all because we're afraid. But we've moved past that, haven't we? We pride ourselves in saying that we would never discriminate like that again. But the whispers and the jokes, and doubts in peoples integrity all because of how they look count for some sort of discrimination? Doesn't it?

Growing up in a very religious Protestant Christian home I've always believed in God or in a higher being. In something that is bigger than me, and that has gotten me through some pretty rough times. It's hard for me to understand people who can look out at a sky full of stars and not wonder where it all came from. Or people who can view an amazing sunset and not feel like they are a part of something bigger than anything they've ever imagined. Or even people who can sit with good friends, share funny stories, and be happy and worry free around the people you love and know they love you, and not feel like "something" is responsible for your happiness and the people in your life.
Having faith means letting go of what you know, and having faith in the things you question. Because everything that I DON'T know, I have faith will be answered one day when this body is no longer mine.

Was that too much for one blog?