I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west Was all but won
All alone
Smoking his last cigaretteI said, Where you been?
He said, Ask anything:
Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
That never rang
And all I needed was a call
It never came To the corner of First and Amistad
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait? Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me
In the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her The only one who’s ever known
Who I am Who I’m not, and who I want to be
No way to know
How long she will be next to me
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me
Early morning The city breaks
I’ve been calling For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never sent me no letters
You got some kind of nerve
Taking all I want
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Where were you, where were you?
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me
Why’d you have to wait
To find me, to find me?
If I found God on the corner of the street...this song is probably how I'd feel too.
But deep down I know that it wasn't Him who got lost, I strayed away first. So...technically He didn't find me. He knew exactly where I was, what I was doing, and why I strayed in the first place....but here He is...still waiting on me to turn my life back around to where it's supposed to.
Thanks for not giving up on me...and for not letting me give up on myself.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Happy Belated Birthday to ME!!
I turned 25 on March 3rd. It was a good day and a bad day. Good because I got 4 birthday cakes last week! =) And sad because I think it's mandatory that you get a little bit sad on your birthday.
Much love to everyone who came out for my birthday on Saturday to Bar I. A night out drinking with my homies was MUCH needed and I seriously can't remember the last time I had so much fun! I'm proud of myself that I last the whole night! I wish I had pictures *womp*womp*
I end off today's rant with something that Miss Kimmy sent me over a month ago that I always said I'd do but never did b/c I'm a FAMOUS procrastinator...but here goes since I'm at work and I have nother better to do.:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits or goals about you.
1. The sound of music boxes creep me out (and any kind of chanting).
2. I have a dreamcatcher above my bed. I was told that you're supposed to put it over your window as this is where the bad dreams come from...but I like my way better.
3. When I think of summer, I think of camping, bonfires and great friends sitting around having a few beers and making each other laugh. Those are the best parts of summer!
4. I'm currently rocking out to Beyonce's- Single Ladies while driving in my car.
5. I'm a sucker for pop music. I don't care if that makes me lame or a teeny bopper...there's just something about those damn catchy tunes and sing-along lyrics that get's me everytime.
6. I read a quote from Barack Obama in a magazine that said "A man is either trying to live up to his father's expectations, or to make up for his mistakes." I couldn't agree more!
7. I don't have much of a sweet tooth when it comes to candy or chocolates...but I will ALWAYS order dessert with my meal...it's just not complete without dessert.
8. I absolutely love love looooove bag pipes! I don't know why...but when I hear them I get a little giddy.
9. The smell of cigar smoke brings back memories from childhood when I used to spend all those spring/summer days at the horse track with my grandparents.
10. I swear a lot. Even in front of children...but I always follow it up with: "Only Auntie Jayne talks like this!" *BIG SMILE!*
11. I hate the word panties. *shudder*
12. I can't keep a secret (but I've been working on that!)
13. I was named after Jane Seymour (Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman). I know that YOU know who I'm talking about.
14. I love practical jokes. I know they're mean... but they're also hilarious. I've mastered the "hiding in one spot then jumping out and scaring you" technique. Actually it's the only practical joke I ever play...but it's the BEST! (My sister and I picked up on this from my dad, who used to do it to us!)
15. I'm still trying to quit smoking. It's really hard...BUT I didn't smoke at all on Saturday for my birthday. (Except for that one smoke at Warren's, but that doesn't count because we weren't at Bar yet).
16. LASTLY I'll leave you with a story. Saturday at work, I was eating a box of Ritz crackers that we have here in the branch for everyone to share. I was munching out on them practically my whole shift, unitl I pulled one out and saw that there was a very small...but very noticeable dead BUG stuck to it. (Yes, that's right....an INSECT!) So what do I do?? I quickly tell Faith what just happend to me, I throw the cracker away....and then.........I put the box back in the cupboard! LOL!
Much love to everyone who came out for my birthday on Saturday to Bar I. A night out drinking with my homies was MUCH needed and I seriously can't remember the last time I had so much fun! I'm proud of myself that I last the whole night! I wish I had pictures *womp*womp*
I end off today's rant with something that Miss Kimmy sent me over a month ago that I always said I'd do but never did b/c I'm a FAMOUS procrastinator...but here goes since I'm at work and I have nother better to do.:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits or goals about you.
1. The sound of music boxes creep me out (and any kind of chanting).
2. I have a dreamcatcher above my bed. I was told that you're supposed to put it over your window as this is where the bad dreams come from...but I like my way better.
3. When I think of summer, I think of camping, bonfires and great friends sitting around having a few beers and making each other laugh. Those are the best parts of summer!
4. I'm currently rocking out to Beyonce's- Single Ladies while driving in my car.
5. I'm a sucker for pop music. I don't care if that makes me lame or a teeny bopper...there's just something about those damn catchy tunes and sing-along lyrics that get's me everytime.
6. I read a quote from Barack Obama in a magazine that said "A man is either trying to live up to his father's expectations, or to make up for his mistakes." I couldn't agree more!
7. I don't have much of a sweet tooth when it comes to candy or chocolates...but I will ALWAYS order dessert with my meal...it's just not complete without dessert.
8. I absolutely love love looooove bag pipes! I don't know why...but when I hear them I get a little giddy.
9. The smell of cigar smoke brings back memories from childhood when I used to spend all those spring/summer days at the horse track with my grandparents.
10. I swear a lot. Even in front of children...but I always follow it up with: "Only Auntie Jayne talks like this!" *BIG SMILE!*
11. I hate the word panties. *shudder*
12. I can't keep a secret (but I've been working on that!)
13. I was named after Jane Seymour (Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman). I know that YOU know who I'm talking about.
14. I love practical jokes. I know they're mean... but they're also hilarious. I've mastered the "hiding in one spot then jumping out and scaring you" technique. Actually it's the only practical joke I ever play...but it's the BEST! (My sister and I picked up on this from my dad, who used to do it to us!)
15. I'm still trying to quit smoking. It's really hard...BUT I didn't smoke at all on Saturday for my birthday. (Except for that one smoke at Warren's, but that doesn't count because we weren't at Bar yet).
16. LASTLY I'll leave you with a story. Saturday at work, I was eating a box of Ritz crackers that we have here in the branch for everyone to share. I was munching out on them practically my whole shift, unitl I pulled one out and saw that there was a very small...but very noticeable dead BUG stuck to it. (Yes, that's right....an INSECT!) So what do I do?? I quickly tell Faith what just happend to me, I throw the cracker away....and then.........I put the box back in the cupboard! LOL!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Another chapter
I have a theory that since I went into 2008 with such high hopes, but then came out of it worse than when the year began, that now the universe owes me one good year. And since I'm going into 2009 with a bit of a rough patch to work through, I hope that means that pretty soon things will turn around and I'll end the year the way I should have ended last year...with a smile on my face.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Turn the frown upside down.
You know how people say that life has a way of biting you in the ass! Well...today is my day. =(
I didn't leave my last job on very good terms, and now I have to go in tomorrow to do business.
Please God don't let it be too uncomfortable for me. Please let me go in and get out as quickly as possible without having to interact with people that I don't need to.
Amen.
I didn't leave my last job on very good terms, and now I have to go in tomorrow to do business.
Please God don't let it be too uncomfortable for me. Please let me go in and get out as quickly as possible without having to interact with people that I don't need to.
Amen.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Reasons
I switched stores at work. And at the Henderson location they have internet...but no customers!!! That is the reason why I'm blogging two days in a row.
Here's what I've learned since yesterday: Playing Wii bowling for shots gets you fucked up so fast! and....that's all actually.
I got drunk last night, and came to work with a slight hangover...and now I have one more hour before it's home time.
What should I eat for dinner??
Here's what I've learned since yesterday: Playing Wii bowling for shots gets you fucked up so fast! and....that's all actually.
I got drunk last night, and came to work with a slight hangover...and now I have one more hour before it's home time.
What should I eat for dinner??
Saturday, January 3, 2009
A long, long time ago...
2008
Looking back, I had so many high hopes for 2008, as I'm sure everyone does in the beginnings of a brand new year. Finally being able to put away all the hardships of the previous year and just look forward.
If I only knew that 2008 would turn out to be one of the hardest years I've ever had to endure. And yet it was eye opening. I finally have come face to face with type of person that I've become. And I'm not happy.
In the fall and winter months of 2007 I was inexplainably lonely. I had great, great friends. My sister and I were (finally) moving out on our own after months of months apartment searching. I swear we probably saw some of the most horrible vacant apartments ever! We fell in love with one in particular. Off Corydon, walking distance to all the lounges. On the top floor, with the whole half of the floor to share with one neighbour. Hardwood floors, huge bedrooms, kitchen, DINING ROOM, living room, sunroom, deck....it was perfect!! We loved it, and still dream of living there one day. But we settled on the more reasonably priced apartment, at ground level (no stairs for us!) with parking, and in suite washer/dryer. There are parts of me that will look back on this time of my life and be so happy and amused by how much I hate living under people who stomp their feet wherever they go, or having the walls so thin that you can hear the neighbours radio at 8'o'clock on a Sunday morning!!! But it's my first home away from the one my parents built for my sister and me. The place that we could make our own. And I love it. I've made, and I hope to continue to make more happy memories in this apartment. So that years from now I can sit around with my friends and say things like "Remember the apartment on Leila when we used to....."
But I was lonely...and that's when I found solice in a guy that I thought would finally pull out of the gutter I had been living in. And in the brief moments in the beginning...where everything is new, and you can't get enough of eachother, I truly thought I had found that person. And it doesn't matter that you spent all day together...what's the harm in spending the evenings together too. When all we did was laugh, and get high and talk and just be together. I let you get me into the shows you loved, like Rome, and you got into Grey's Anatmoy...and we would spend those cold winter days inside...watching episodes after episodes of DVD's. We were so happy in the beginning.
This year...I vow to make sure that everything that I do is to better me. In whatever way that entails. 2009 has to be about becoming a better Jayne. Not because I've become so horrible, but because I no longer look at myself in the mirror and see the fun-loving person I used to. I'm going to become a better friend, a better sister, a better daughter, better student, better employee....and better at whatever else I feel like I'm lagging.
I've gotten to a point in my life where I'm young enough to try and fix my mistakes before they become out of control...and old enough to know that you only get ONE chance at life. And there's no such thing as taking action without responsiblity. Some of the decisions that I've made for myself in this past year will be with me forever. And now is the time that I deal with all those decisions and move on.
This year...I'm going to live my life the way I feel will benefit me in the future. Instead of letting my life live me. There's no such thing as "playing it by ear" or "seeing where the road takes us". If you want things for yourself or for the people you love...strive for them. I truly believe I'll be a better, and happier person once I fully realize and understand what it is that I want for myself.
And so begins 2009. Wish me luck.
btw....today is DAY 1 of the non-smoking Jayne.
Looking back, I had so many high hopes for 2008, as I'm sure everyone does in the beginnings of a brand new year. Finally being able to put away all the hardships of the previous year and just look forward.
If I only knew that 2008 would turn out to be one of the hardest years I've ever had to endure. And yet it was eye opening. I finally have come face to face with type of person that I've become. And I'm not happy.
In the fall and winter months of 2007 I was inexplainably lonely. I had great, great friends. My sister and I were (finally) moving out on our own after months of months apartment searching. I swear we probably saw some of the most horrible vacant apartments ever! We fell in love with one in particular. Off Corydon, walking distance to all the lounges. On the top floor, with the whole half of the floor to share with one neighbour. Hardwood floors, huge bedrooms, kitchen, DINING ROOM, living room, sunroom, deck....it was perfect!! We loved it, and still dream of living there one day. But we settled on the more reasonably priced apartment, at ground level (no stairs for us!) with parking, and in suite washer/dryer. There are parts of me that will look back on this time of my life and be so happy and amused by how much I hate living under people who stomp their feet wherever they go, or having the walls so thin that you can hear the neighbours radio at 8'o'clock on a Sunday morning!!! But it's my first home away from the one my parents built for my sister and me. The place that we could make our own. And I love it. I've made, and I hope to continue to make more happy memories in this apartment. So that years from now I can sit around with my friends and say things like "Remember the apartment on Leila when we used to....."
But I was lonely...and that's when I found solice in a guy that I thought would finally pull out of the gutter I had been living in. And in the brief moments in the beginning...where everything is new, and you can't get enough of eachother, I truly thought I had found that person. And it doesn't matter that you spent all day together...what's the harm in spending the evenings together too. When all we did was laugh, and get high and talk and just be together. I let you get me into the shows you loved, like Rome, and you got into Grey's Anatmoy...and we would spend those cold winter days inside...watching episodes after episodes of DVD's. We were so happy in the beginning.
This year...I vow to make sure that everything that I do is to better me. In whatever way that entails. 2009 has to be about becoming a better Jayne. Not because I've become so horrible, but because I no longer look at myself in the mirror and see the fun-loving person I used to. I'm going to become a better friend, a better sister, a better daughter, better student, better employee....and better at whatever else I feel like I'm lagging.
I've gotten to a point in my life where I'm young enough to try and fix my mistakes before they become out of control...and old enough to know that you only get ONE chance at life. And there's no such thing as taking action without responsiblity. Some of the decisions that I've made for myself in this past year will be with me forever. And now is the time that I deal with all those decisions and move on.
This year...I'm going to live my life the way I feel will benefit me in the future. Instead of letting my life live me. There's no such thing as "playing it by ear" or "seeing where the road takes us". If you want things for yourself or for the people you love...strive for them. I truly believe I'll be a better, and happier person once I fully realize and understand what it is that I want for myself.
And so begins 2009. Wish me luck.
btw....today is DAY 1 of the non-smoking Jayne.
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